One Day At A Time

General Hospital and not the one on TV

2011-07-13T21:00:00.000-07:00

Grandma had a stroke yesterday. It was really lucky that it was caught early. My brother was visiting Grandma that day to bring her some things. He saw that she was weak, couldn't keep her eyes open and her face on the left side was droopy and drooling. He had the nurses call an ambulance. They got her to the hospital quickly and treated her immediately. Mom says she was talking clearly that night. Grandma kept asking for fishball noodle soup. Apparently, my uncle makes it for her when she visited on the weekends. It was good to know that she was alert and hungry.

I spent most of the day with her today with my brother. She slept most of the day but she was talking and eating. She looked extra frail in that hospital bed. I know she bruises easily but those bruises left from IVs, shots and blood draws were worrisome. My aunt had my grandma's teeth, scared that the ER might lose them, so Grandma couldn't eat solid food until my aunt came back. It was sad but kinda funny. The MRI and contrast CT showed that the stroke happened on the right side of the brain. The damage is very minimal considering the area that lost blood flow during the stroke. The left side of her face still shows some facial weakness so time will tell on the actual extent of the damage.

I knew this year didn't involve enough crap yet.

Finding the answer

2011-04-25T22:51:00.000-07:00

I say I'm frustrated at work but more and more I think I'm frustrated at life. Work just happens to be a part of life. I have more work than I have time in the day. But I can't really complain 'cause the boss goes home and does more work anyway. Granted, most of my work can't be taken home. I feel underpaid for my job. I'm sure most people feel underpaid for their job but I'm seriously making less than I used to. I can prove that. That supposed promotion didn't make me feel valued at all. I feel like no one listens to anything I say so what's the real point of my position? I'm a gopher with a veneer of credibility. Sometimes I feel like a secretary.

I'm stuck in this house under my mother's roof. She won't let me out. She needs me to help out. She's trapped me, the same way she's trapped me my entire life. I don't think I'll ever get out. There are grandiose talks of making things different but it'll never happen and never make it different. I want out and I can't.

I replaced school with work but nothing else has changed.

This doesn't help

2011-03-07T21:44:00.000-08:00

http://sg.promotion.yahoo.com/weekend-edition/hype/post/hype/63/why-women-are-better-than-men.html

I came across this article a few days ago. I have mixed feelings about this article and mostly negative ones. I like that the article looks at legitimate (i think, haven't checked) studies to support his claim. I fear that this book does help the women's movement in anyway. If anything, it's more like justification for the male population to take back/neglect some women's rights that were so hard fought. "Women handle pain better then they don't need all that maternity leave." Alright, that's a bit exaggerated but not unfounded. The article makes it seem like women have made huge strides in equality in the work force such as reaching the top levels of power. Although that is a noteworthy statistic, it doesn't overshadow the fact that women still hold a very small percentage of the positions of power within corporations or government.

I'm overthinking this....

Something on the side

2011-01-04T22:52:00.000-08:00

I made a new blog to capture all the stories my mother has told me all these year. It's mostly just for me.

http://sisisashistory.blogspot.com/

Lost Memories I Didn't Know I Had

2010-08-26T22:28:00.000-07:00

My mom just told me that someone stole from us while we were moving. She's missing some jewelry, money, and picture. She said it was packed into a box with some other stuff and a jade buddha. My aunt has the buddha now saying she found it on the floor during the last sweep of the apartment and thought it was really nice (and it is) and should be kept so she took it home. Mom suspects that the thief was non-Asian, took out the buddha not knowing its worth, and took the box. I don't even remember such a thing when I was around the place but then again, there was such a big mess I might have just glazed over the whole scene.

The worst thing isn't the money or the jewelry. Sure, it took years to earn the money to purchase all those baubles and each one holds its own memories and sentimental values. I will miss those rings I used to put on my tiny fingers as a child wishing I was big enough to wear them. I will miss those necklaces and earrings I would mix and match as I played dress up. But those things can be replaced. Sure, it was part of my inheritance but I have a house now. If anything, those were outdated styles anyway.

The worst thing is the pictures. We lost all the pictures of my mom and dad's childhood. Most if not all of the photos were old portrait-type photos. Still-lives of a family to be printed and shown-off. Those kinds of pictures don't tell much of a story on their own but they were memories of a past untold.

My mother always told stories of how poor they were but those photos proved that the family had some money and I always used that in countering my mother's lessons of "we were so poor". I liked how my mom and her older sister looked so similar, then and now. I liked how grandma looked the same for so many years; it gave me comfort for my old age. I looked at those pictures and still wondered "who do I look like?".

My father was never much of a talker. He never told stories of his past. Everything I know came from my mother and her stories came from his sisters and his mother. With those stories and the look in his eyes of those photos, I could imagine what kind of child my father was. And how that child became the teenager in the convertible. And how that teenager became the man in bellbottoms. I still wonder how much of him I inherited.

All I can hope for now is that the thief was kind enough to give the pictures back and it's still in a box.

Next Step

2010-06-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

I've officially taken the next step in my career. And I've never been so unsure. If someone presented me with this job when I first started college, I won't have even thought about it. It's not a lab job, why would I care? It might not be where I thought I would be but if this job works out the way I hope it would, then I would still end up where I want to be. As a coworker said, "It's your first adult job." It's definitely a step away from the job I got hired for. Here's to new futures.

The importance of being alone

2010-05-16T20:10:00.000-07:00

I was going to write this while I was in DC but I was really tired and never got the time.

This was the first vacation I was doing on my own. I met with this friends along the way so I guess it's not really alone but that first night in DC was all my own. I flew for the first time by myself and ate a restaurant by myself. I like to think of myself as independent and self-sufficient. I'm used to doing somethings by myself: shopping, museums and groceries. But those aren't abnormal things to do alone.

Being okay with being alone is something I need to learn. I think it's a bit silly to think that I will have someone to be with me all my life. Sure, it's sad to think about ending up alone. But isn't it healthier to realize these things now and learn to deal with it?

Frustrations

2010-04-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

I realize everyone at work is stressed with various projects and I guess some people just don't deal with it very well. I'm tired of the constant arguing. I'm tired of trying to have to same fruitless conversation over again knowing that words aren't getting through. My instincts for flight are kicking in but where would I fly to? A new opportunity at work might present me with a way to avoid the issue while still allowing me to pursue my goals. But it will be a departure from where I thought I would be in life. Then again, I didn't really have a plan as to what I would be doing right now, just an idea of where I want to be so I guess it doesn't really matter?

One Quarter

2010-02-26T02:45:00.000-08:00

A quarter century. The mid-twenties. My twenty-fourth year was much unexpected. A number of good things happened as well as a number of unpleasant events. In reflecting on the past year, I wonder how much I might have grown. Twenty-five years ago, I just breathed life. Twenty years ago, my only concern was my Barbies. Ten years ago, I discovered the greatest friends in the world. Three years ago, I set out to make my way in the world, so to speak. Last year...well, I don't know what last year was supposed to teach me. I feel my life has stalled a little bit. WIthout a defined step like a graduation, I don't know where I'm supposed to go in life. Sure I got a job and am moving through it like I'm supposed to but what else am I supposed to do? I suppose in this time before real commitments I'm supposed to enjoy life and experience the world. If I'm to have learned anything from the past year, then it's that life is unexpected and short. Maybe, it's even time to do something crazy.

Goodbye Dear Friend

2009-11-17T18:01:00.000-08:00

Sleep overs, mah jong, gossip, song and trust. We used to spend so many weekends together and provide cover stories for. You were my sister. But we grew up and grew apart. We finally went to the same school and yet we grew apart. I think we both knew we were different from each other and couldn't have had the same circles but we saw something else in each other that made us friends, sisters. We left for college and all we had were words in virtual air. You were my sister and we grew apart. We finally saw each other again and everything was the same. We were still the children we once were. You were my sister and we grew apart. I'm not good with words. That was you. You were also the smart one. You were also the pretty one. You were my sister. Now I can't believe you're gone. It doesn't seem real. You were my best friend and we grew apart. I'm sorry.

Fighting to be heard

2009-08-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

I don't think anyone would blame me for working really hard at work to try to prove to my bosses that I deserve a promotion. I know just as much as everyone else. The only reason I might not know something is because I haven't had the privilege of getting the SOP before everyone else. And yet, I still sense a lack of trust, well...really from one person. He's not even around and yet I still get calls for updates and instructions. Dude! I know! Calm down! I know he worries and just wants to make sure things get done. I feel the same but I don't call in on my days off. I'm just looking for alittle trust. I think I've proven that I deserve some of that.

so she asks

2009-07-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

Grandma told me today that I need a boyfriend so she can be happy. No pressure or anything. Like what she asks is easy to do. I'm not saying that she isn't right in some way. I haven't been "out there" in a long time. I'm making a lot of excuses for why I don't get out and some of them are completely valid. But I have a question first. "How do you do it?" It's a change in thinking and a new game; one, I'm not completely ready or understand.

New York Pics

2009-05-04T01:46:00.000-07:00

Pictures from my trip to New York here.

Just Coasting

2009-05-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

There has been some changes at work. I'm working swing shift now and have more responsibility. I'm happy to know that my bosses trust me with this work and to know that I'm doing well in this job. But the thing is that I'm not doing anything else with my life. There isn't a whole lot I can do during the day before work. Sure, errands are easier to run since there are less people crowding the market or bank. But what else am I going to do? "But you have the weekend..."I really don't. Responsibilities at home make it so that I really can't do much. I miss my friends. I miss my old life even though I didn't have much then, it was better than this.

Switching over

2009-04-26T11:46:00.001-07:00

Since I will be losing my Geocities website soon, I'll switch my blog over to Blogger and well, my pics are already on Facebook and Flicker anyway. I already have this account. I might as well use it.

Apartment Dinner

2005-04-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

My attempt at making potstickers. My friends here at in the apartment complex has started this weekend dinner thing where each one of us picks a weekend to cook for everyone else. I volunteered for this weekend but unlike the previous dinners, I didn't make a big chunk of animal; I made potstickers and rice cakes both of which I've never made by myself before. The potsticker came out okay but the rice cakes were weird. Some of them were uncooked in the center and it tasted a bit too flour-y. I think I didn't drain them well enough. Stir fried with chicken and bean sprouts with chicken stock to cover the flour taste, it wasn't half bad. Too bad I don't have any chili sauce or it would have been so much better. And yes! I made the potstickers...well, the filling anyway and wrapped and pinched the pleats. Nothing frozen here!

Soup!

2005-03-05T17:14:00.000-08:00

I found the recipe for Zuppa Toscana soup online. Just like at the Olive Garden! I love this soup and decided to attempt to make it on my own. I used too much red pepper flakes so the soup turned out a bit spicier than real thing but I liked it anyway. I should have peeled the potatoes before I put it into the pot so the soup was a bit "crunchy" but hey, fiber is good for you. With some fresh "garden herb" bread, I had a very hearty meal. Considering how much I made, I'll have soup for a week.

Elisa cooks for herself

2005-03-04T23:30:00.000-08:00

Look, look, I can cook! I made breaded chicken breast, mashed potatoes, and mixed veggies. This is pretty much the standard meal for me. Maybe now Grandma can stop worrying about me not eating enough.

Chinese New Year in SLO

2005-03-04T23:22:00.000-08:00

My friend, Cynthia, decided to attempt a Chinese New Year Feast this year and asked me to co-host. I bought the chicken and roast duck. Together we made the rice cake with pork, sautee Chinese vegetables, lettuce wrap with a chicken, celery, and bean sprout filling, tomato-egg-chicken side for the rice, onion pancakes, and red bean tapicoa for dessert. We managed to serve 12 people in my little apartment and paper plates and plastic utensils meant no dishes to wash.